November '25

A newsletter about trying and believing other people are too

Who cares if it is cringy?

I am chronically online. Yes, I know. Brain rot. Doom scroll. Bad. I am making an informed choice… to be chronically online (for now - I am fickle so this might change in the future). I love TikTok. I love Instagram. I am even on Threads now. Judge away. However, I don’t mess with Elon’s internet so I am not on Twitter anymore. I was an early noper-outer.

One of my pet hates about the internet is the policing of whatever people are into. I also hate that it gives bigots and trolls a place to spew their vitriol in the name of “free speech”, a woefully misunderstood concept. Can’t we just have an internet that gives us advice for building glutes, recipes, nihilistic memes, new music/books and accurate news? But I digress.

People should be allowed to love the things they love, freely, shamelessly and as much as they want. No buts. Who cares if it is cringy? If you love romantasy (Hi! Me too!) or even something spicier (I hear my beloved Empyrean Series and next read ACOTAR are mild), go you. If you love wearing pink - yes, Barbie. If you are draped in black from head to toe - also, yes, Barbie in black. If you are a Swiftie, play her albums on repeat. If you still only listen to Dashboard Confessional 20 years on, do the funny ‘Vindicated’ voice as you scream along. We can just let people enjoy whatever they want to. It’s okay if they aren’t the things you like. We don’t owe each other uniformity. Humans aren’t a monolith. Thank God for that. I have subscribed to this happy state of e-existence for a long time. I implore you to do the same. Everyone is trying their best, so for your own joy and everyone else’s too, just scroll on.

Fit happens: A mighty effort

For the longest time this year, I felt like nothing was changing. I was training and training and training and training. But I couldn’t see the change. Sure, I was lifting heavier. Sure, I was not getting as out of breath. I couldn’t see the change. And I really wanted to. How vain. I wanted to look swole. Swole’s the goal. IYKYK. Then one morning, I looked in the mirror and I started seeing muscles. I started feeling my body become a little harder (ever so slightly, let’s not get carried away). And I grumpily thought: “Ugh, they were right, it is all about consistency.” But nobody ever tells you how to stay consistent. Here are my Top 5 Tips for being consistent when you are not naturally consistent at anything, like me.

1. Make your fun: Figure out what fun looks like for you. Then integrate it. For me, it looks like a playlist with absolute bangers. It is called Fitness is my passion because this was my mantra during the initial hard days. I am always adding songs to it and it makes me want to dance. That’s a good feeling to have before you deadlift, in my opinion. Maybe for you, it is a cute little fit (no pun intended). Whatever. It is your fun.

2. Schedule it: Pick a time that is the most convenient. There is no perfect time. So find a slot that you think can maybe stay relatively uninterrupted. For me, that is immediately after work. It is also a good idea to do this in a transition time. It is like a bookmark to my day.

3. Find an accounta-buddy: This can be someone that trains with you. Or someone who trains on the opposite side of the world, but sends you reels about inhumane kettlebell exercises. It should be someone that believes you can do it and wants to cheer you on. Preferably find someone very skilled at the art of guilt because sometimes you need an accounta-buddy to manipulate you into doing the things.

4. Listen to your body/heart/soul/social calendar: It may seem counterintuitive, but sometimes it is okay to not. Like I always say, “You are just a person.” There will be days when you are knackered from work and your whole body feels sluggish. Do a gentle yoga or stretch or go for a walk. Every training session doesn’t need to result in multiple PBs. You don’t need to go maximum effort every time. That is unsustainable. You also don’t need to avoid a too-many-margs night with your bestie because you are training. I mean, you can, if you want to. I usually don’t. You can train earlier. Or skip it and do the next day. Let it settle into a comfy place in your life.

   

   As an intense person, I regularly need this reminder.

5. Track your progress: I am not kidding when I say that this is my top tip. I have a very elaborate spreadsheet where I log my exercise. If you want to copy it, here you go (this only includes my last two “seasons” and I left in some details so that you can see how the spreadsheet works). I include effort and progression. This has changed how I train. I love clicking back to past tabs to see where I started. It keeps me on track and focussed.

As I said before, we are not monoliths. What works for me, doesn’t necessarily work for you. Find your tricks, whatever they may be.

Bench gossip: The Women’s Cricket World Cup

In case you haven’t realised by now, I am a huge fan of sports, but especially women’s sports. I often think about how the stigma around women participating in sports like rugby has discouraged countless young girls from even trying. There is a content creator I really enjoy(ed?) who had a series during the Women’s Rugby World Cup called “Is she a lesbian or does she just play rugby?”. Firstly, being called a lesbian should definitely not be an insult but secondly, why should it matter? Why is sexuality even a topic we are discussing instead of, say, the incredible strength/speed/grit of the women participating? There was a similar rhetoric around the Women’s Cricket World Cup. The pattern seems to be that if you excel at a sport as a women, we must find something “wrong” with you, something society perceives as “unfeminine”. Boo. Not in this house. Play the sports you want to. And in turn, let other people play the sports they want to.

I watched nearly every match in the Women’s Cricket World Cup. It was incredible. Here is the TLDR version: Our Protea women got absolutely thrashed in their first match against England. We were bowled out for 69 and lost by 10 wickets. Brutal, but boy, did we bounce back. We went on a five-match winning streak to secure our spot in the semi-finals. We faced our nemesis, England, again. This time (after being beaten by them in the past two World Cup semi-finals) we did it and we were off to the final. Unfortunately, when we faced the home nation, India, in the final, we simply couldn’t make it happen. We did our best, but we were outplayed in every way. I cried. They cried. We all cried.

Here are my tournament highlights (because not everything is lost when you don’t win):

• Marizanne Kapp took 5 wickets in the semi-final, making her the bowler with the most wickets taken in ICC Women’s World Cup history. She is an absolute legend of the game. She made her debut at 19 in 2009 and has been working non-stop to further women’s cricket since.

  

  An iconic photo of Kappie by Prakash Singh

• New captain, Laura Wolvaardt, played magnificently throughout the tournament and smashed two centuries in the knockout stages. Captain be captaining. She is now the No. 1 ranked ODI women’s batter in the world.

• Everything Nonkululeko Mlaba does is a highlight for me. Last year, she was crowned Cricket SA’s Women’s Player of the Year and Women’s Players’ Player of the year. She took a number of huge wickets during the tournament and I cannot wait to see what else she cooks up for us.

Much like the Women’s Rugby World Cup earlier in 2025, this was a turning point for the sport. It was the first one that didn’t feature England or Australia in the final. In 2013, the final (also held in Mumbai) had a crowd of about 2 000. This year, the stadium was packed with over 45 000 spectators. India won. But so did women’s cricket.

Just a Cricket World Cup winning captain

Shelfie: The meaning of book club

I have a few books lined up to take me to the end of the year. I am very excited about each of them. The Wedding People and The Names are two picks from the Chat-Shit-Get-Read Book Club and Frankenstein is the next slow read.

Three little books patiently waiting to be read by the end of the year

But let’s reflect on the books we have read as we finish our first round of picks. In order of favourites (according to a recent poll by one of our own):

• Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus (my personal favourite)

• The Girl with the Louding Voice by Abi Daré

• Anxious People by Frederik Backman (tied for 3rd)

• Piranesi by Susanna Clarke (tied for 3rd and my other personal favourite)

• We Solve Murders by Richard Osman

• Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin (tied for 6th)

• Sweet Bean Paste by Durian Sukegawa (tied for 6th)

• The Cliffs by J. Courney Sullivan (tied for 6th)

• James by Percival Everett

Obviously when we got the book club off the ground, I thought I needed motivation to read more. The main point of book club is reading, isn’t it? I dunno. I don’t think so anymore. Sure, I love reading the books. But more than that, I love thinking about what my friends are thinking as they read. It feels like sitting in comfortable silence reading next to a friend. Our monthly chats are a highlight for me. Big Opinions. A lot of laughs. As the year has gone on, I have just fallen more in love with each of the women in book club. I didn’t realise that was exactly what I needed to be a “better” reader.

Maybe a book club is not for you. Maybe it is a cycling/running/walking club. If you think you might want to, do it. Don’t overthink it. Just jump.